No baby yet

Gene and I went to see the midwife on Tuesday. I seem to be having some pre-labor contractions, but nothing major yet. No, they're not braxton hicks. Apparently, for those of you who would like the personal details, I was at that time not quite at 1 centemeter, 50% effaced, and the baby is at zero station, or fully dropped. The last part was my favorite because it means that my hips are definitely wide enough for his head, since it's already down there. Being a woman of somewhat less than ample hips, and carrying this enormous bulge in front of me, I had begun to wonder. The upshot of all this is that I continue to get prelabor contractions. I am dialating and effacing more but the baby could come any time between right now and a week or more from now. After next Saturday we'll talk about induction if he hasn't made an appearance. Overall, I'm just pleased that I have a very considerate baby who waited so that mommy and daddy could have a nice Thanksgiving dinner.

Wait, I'm supposed to drop the baby?

Gene and I went to our baby appointment today. We go in weekly from here on out. All is well with Joshua and he's standing on his head facing my left side. I'm supposed to crawl around some to help him move so that he's facing my back. Joshua is still up in my ribs a bit, but apparently after this week he should begin to drop. This can happen gradually or very suddenly, but one way or another it will be nice to take a deep breath again.

The Great Pumpkin

Gene and I enjoyed halloween this year. Even though Joshua isn't technically able to dress up, we dressed him up anyway. Joshua was the great Pumpkin this year. I suppose that makes me the great pumpkin patch...hmmm....

The Last Month

My entire life is going to change in a month. I have 4 weeks left and everyone keeps asking if I'm sick of being pregnant. Actually, no, I'm really enjoying being pregnant. I'll be happy when the pain next to my sternum goes away, and it'll be nice to be able to lie flat comfortably again, and being less awkward will be nice. That said, while I'm eager to meet Joshua, I think that I'm happy to be pregnant just as long as he needs me to be. I know that I'm very fortunate to be having such a smooth pregnancy so far. As long as it continues smoothly, I'm going to enjoy every minute of it and keep marveling that such a thing is possible at all.

Hiccups

My baby is apparently prone to hiccups. I don't know if this will last after he's born, but right now every few days he gets the hiccups. Unfortunately for me, since he's floating, there's nothing to hold him steady. His entire little body moves with each "hic." It's an interesting sensation to say the least.

Our baby has a name

Gene thought it would be a good idea to name the baby, rather than calling him "Baby DeClark" for his entire life. This posed something of a problem since there are a nearly infinite list of baby names to choose from. Finally, after much deliberation, a consensus has been reached. Gene and I are expecting: Joshua Carl DeClark.

TopsyTurvey

My little baby is already turning out to be well behaved. We went to the doctor yesterday and apparently he's already standing on his head. For those of you out there who haven't gone through this already, that means he's in position to be born and isn't trying to come out feet first. I personally can't imagine that standing on your head for 6 weeks is a comfortable thing, but then again I'm not a baby, so I guess things are a little different for him. My tummy was measured and is just the size it's supposed to be...AKA HUGE! The baby's heart speeds when he moves, which apparently indicates that he is healthy and doing well. We're in the home stretch now, so I go in every 2 weeks from hear on out, just to check on how he's doing.

Ribs? Who needs ribs?

Apparently my son is not thrilled with my ribcage, or at least not with how confining my ribcage seems to him. As a result, it's expanding, and let me just add...ouch. Why is this never mentioned along with the stretch marks, etc. that are supposed to show up in the last month? I was pretty happy with my ribcage being the size it had always been, but apparently it's all part of the process. Fortunately, I have a husband who will take pity on my and rub my ribs. What a good husband! 10 more weeks, and then I get to have my body all to myself and meet the little boy who keeps kicking me at 3AM. 10 weeks and counting!

The nursery

As I'm putting together the baby book, I thought it might be nice to include a picture of the nursery. For those of you who aren't around to see it here is a picture. I think it turned out pretty well. I'm sure we'll find some finishing touches as we go along, but this is what we have so far.

Baby Book

I've decided to make my baby a baby book instead of buying one. I figure that this way I can add more photos and tell the story of him without buying a book with a lot of irrelevant sections. If you have suggestion on things to add, by all means let me know. I think it will be a work in progres for a while now. Right now I have finished the pages on what family said when they found out about him, and the ultrasound, and his first kicks, and we're working on his name page, but I think we need to pick a name before we can finish that one.

Registry update

I'm feeling really good about getting everything prepared for the baby. I think this is called the nesting phase. I've updated the registry info, and I'll keep this posting updated here also. I'm only registered on Amazon.com now. I don't really care if things come specifically from Amazon.com. It's just a list of ideas, and brands that looked promising, so here is my master list.

door alarms - we really need these - (registered for on amazon.com)
Contoured Changing pad covers (light blue)(1-2) (target sells a 2 pack by amy coe)
4 - 6 Avent brand nipples
fischer price "rock-a-stack" It's the pyramid of colored rings
Toddler harness

Washington Fantasy Faire

I went with my brother to the Gig Harbor Renaissance Fantasy Faire this last weekend. Since none of my usual garb fit, I had to improvise. I look at this as the baby's first costume. The name tag reads, "Hello, My name is: Sir Not Appearing in This Film." We had a great time and I definitely remembered to sunblock my tummy. Boy, that takes a lot of sunblock!

A song from Marissa

My friend Marissa has thoughtfully written a song to commemorate my transition into the world of the not-so-tiny woman.

The Germans have thoughtfully invented a word (schandenfreuede) for rejoicing at a friends tribulations. I believe that this is a song in the true spirit of the word.

Chorus
O schadenfruede schandenfreuede
I have a friend that's knocked up

She cannot find a shirt that fits
I get to call her "Tissue Tits"

She can't look down and see the floor
She can't go topless anymore

From the skillet into the fire
How do you wash an underwire?

It's a Boy!

We did the ultrasound today. The baby gave his daddy and I a thumbs up, waved at us, sucked his thumb, pointed at Gene, and of course kicked mommy a lot. All 4 chambers of the heart are beating away. The brain is developing nicely, and 10 fingers and 10 toes are all wiggling away. Also, my son has absolutely no modesty, leaving no doubt that I'll neet to go buy some blue booties. Here is a photo of the tiniest DeClark. He has just stopped sucking his thumb and you can still see his little fist held near his chin.

Kick Daddy!

I felt almost nothing until the last couple of weeks, and then the baby has been moving around more in the last week or so. It's finally starting to get to the point where a few of the kicks are enough to feel from the outside. And what does my little baby want to do with it's new strength? Kick Daddy! This evening Gene got to feel his first kicks. I was about to give up and go to bed when the baby decided to make his or her little presence really known. There's just something about feeling it that makes it so much more real. Next step...the ultrasound. We go in Friday. I hope the baby isn't shy!

Quad Screen

Apparently having a baby requires that you give blood samples constantly. I can't say it's my favorite part of the job, but it's not so bad. This most recent test was the quad screen which appears to test for down's syndrome and neural tube defects. The lab inexplicably took about twice as many days as they said they would, but after I called to complain they helpfully told me that the test came back negative for neural tube problems and down's, so that's a relief!

Olive on a toothpick

This is how one of Gene's coworkers described thin pregnant women: "Like an olive on a toothpick." It does seem that if you're thin you spend the first 3-4 months saying, "No, Really, I am pregnant!" and then within about 3 days it's suddenly so obvious that complete strangers keep coming up and asking when you're due. For me, that 3 day period was this week. I had a client suddenly notice, another client eyeing my tummy, a waitress asking if I'm pregnant, and a cashier asking when I'm due. I even had someone at church say, "When I look at you from the side, I see something that I didn't see before..." Apparently he missed my announcement to the church on Mother's day. Now, to be fair, I do feel huge, but I've felt that way for months now. Apparently I've finally reached the olive on a toothpick stage and people can tell. And now this olive and toothpick are off to the hardware store for a new fan and a new blade to repair the lawnmower...Olive/Toothpick Woman, Away!

Whoosh! Whoosh! Thump!

Gene and I had our next baby appointment today. All is well so far, and we got to hear the heartbeat again, and a little more. The baby's tiny swish swish heartbeat is now a loud Whoosh! Whoosh! sound. Every now and then there would be a Thud! Apparently, that's the baby kicking around in there. Tiny baby is about 7-8 inches now, and growing like crazy. We did our quad screen blood test today. That's the one that checks for Down's syndrome and neural tube defects. We won't get the results for a few days. The ultrasound is in about a month now. Here's hoping the baby isn't shy.

Not showing indeed!

Gene took a picture of my tummy today. I might add that I am very very hot in the hot weather we've been having. I don't know how my grandma, who gave birth to my dad in August, ever managed the heat. Gene bought me creamsickles the other day, because I needed them for some reason. My grandma said that when she was pregnant she had an out of season craving for watermellon, which I have also been craving a lot. My grandfather drove all over town till he finally found the one place that had watermellon to take home to his pregnant wife. I may be the one carrying the baby, but never underestimate the importance of a truly good husband.

Vampires and Cheerleaders

What does this title have to do with pregnancy? Well, not much, except that it was the theme for my husband's 31st birthday party last week. Gene thought it would be tremendously funny if I went as a pregnant cheerleader. Two weeks earlier this costume fit, but by the time of the party it was a close call. This is a picture of me with my vampire husband, celebrating our last birthday party together with just the two of us. You'll note that I am most definitely showing at this point.

My expanding equator

I've had a few people say that they don't believe I'm big. I hereby offer proof that I am indeed big. And, if there were still any doubt, my husband will attest that his sweat pants and pajama bottoms keep being appropriated by his wife. Mine don't fit anymore. The nightie picture is 3.5 months (about 2 weeks ago), and I think the other picture is about 2 weeks before that.

The longest minute

Gene and I toured the birthing facility and had our second baby appointment. Everything went smoothly except for being told that I'm not gaining/eating enough and I need to eat at least every 2-3 hours. That is, it went smoothly until they checked for the heartbeat. I'll spare you the suspense and cut to the end of the story where they find a nice healthy baby heartbeat, but that was the longest minute of my life. It turns out that they baby is higher, and therefore bigger than they'd expect at this stage. All good news, but a very very long minute in the meantime. Apparently not getting enough building blocks isn't really a problem for the baby as much as it is for me. I guess the baby gets it one way or another, which is a tremendous relief.

Let every thing turn, turn, turn...

While I've been very fortunate not to have much in the way of morning sickness, I have discovered one complication that seems to run on daddy's side of the family...dizzy spells. I don't think mine are nearly as bad as my grandma's were, but thery're not a lot of fun either. Don't get me wrong, I'd take dizzy over nautious any day, but that's not much of a choice. So far they haven't been too bad, but i'm taking Grandma's advice and sitting down when they happen. I don't want to wake up at the bottom of the stairs!

Good Morning, Tiny Baby.

Every morning for the last 6 or so years, Gene kisses me good morning. Since he gets up first lately, i'm usually still half asleep. Lately, since we found out about our upcoming arrival, every morning Gene kisses me and says, " Good morning, Love." just like he always has, but now he kisses my tummy and says, " Good morning, tiny baby." It's just a little ting, but it helps to have this little reminder of how happy he is about this tiny baby.

Swish-Swish-Swish-Swish

Today Gene and I went in for our first real baby appointment. They said everything looks right for 10 weeks, which is where I'm at. After checking me all out they used a doppler device to listen for the heart beat. I've got no pictures for this entry, but just think "Swish-Swish-Swish-Swish" really fast, and that's pretty much it. I can't tell you what a relief it was to know that my baby's tiny little heart is beating away in there. Gene was beaming too.

Oh Happy Day!

I went to see my family and told them about the baby. Daddy said, "Aren't I a little young to be a grandpa?" but he was happy. Mom got so excited that I couldn't quite tell what exactly she said first, but it was definitely very happy about the baby. Grandma said, "Oh! Are you...Great!! That's just great!!!" Then mom and grandma got all excited and jumped around. My brother already knew, because he was up to visit me, but he was happy too. I really wish that my grandpa were still around to tell. He would have been really happy too, and then he would have made jokes about it. My grandpa was always a bit of a card. Overall I have to say that it was a very successful trip and it's a wonderful gift to have a supportive family.

The value of friends

The value of friends is immeasurable, and that goes double for friends who have already gone through something that you're now going through. Without this incredible boon, I would have no choice but to assume that I'm insane, and there is something very very odd about my pregnancy. Fortunately, from talking to my friends I have found out that, well, yes I may be insane and have an odd odd pregnancy, but that's exactly what happens during all pregnancies. Feeling anxious for no reason? Two weeks of food binge and then all food is disgusting? Things smell strange? Back hurts? Just ate an entire flat of pears by yourself? Sleeping more during the day than Dracula? No problem! Apparently that's just called being pregnant. So, a big thanks to Coco and Angie for forging through those confusing experiences ahead of me and giving me the reassurance that only someone saying, "Oh yea, it was orange pop and cheetoes for me." can bring.

The Chunky Monkey

I think I'm showing! No one else besides Gene and I seems to have noticed, but I'm pretty sure that there is now baby pudge where there was no baby pudge before. This has got to be the first time in my life that I have ever been happy to see new pudge! We had a party this weekend and while putting on my little 1920's style party dress I was at first startled that I seem to be pudging out, and then startled that I seem to be having trouble fitting my chest into the dress. That has definitely never been a problem before. It's a truly unique experience to wake up in a body that is fundamentally different than the one you went to sleep in, especially when is seems to keep happening over and over again. They tell me things really start to ramp up in the next trimester. That should be interesting!

Food is gross

Before the pregnancy, I loved to eat. Two weeks ago, ice cream was the greatest thing on earth. Last week, everything was delicious, especially Italian food. Today, everything is gross. I don't know why all food is suddenly gross, but it is. I've heard of moms-to-be feeling grossed out by the smell of cooking food, or by a certain food, but all food?! Today food ranges from kind of edible to completely disgusting. As near as I can tell this is a low-grade, ongoing form of morning sickness. I just feel a little sick for a long time. I'm taking a friend's advice and trying ginger ale, since I don't want to take any medicine at this delicate stage of the pregnancy. Anyone out there have any brilliant ideas?

Yin or Yang

My friend Dustin today announced that he can tell me what gender my baby will be. Dustin is into acupuncture, Eastern medicine, etc. After taking my pulse and considering carefully, Dustin announced that with 95% certainty he knows that I will have a boy. I'll have to get back to him in a few months once we've had the ultrasound, but I thought I'd document his prediction now. In the mean time I'll have to continue to ponder the question, "Do I need pink or blue yarn to start this baby blanket?" Just a note: I think I found the table for Chinese baby gender predictions that Dustin was using. Just for fun, I've included the link here.
http://www.obfocus.com/calculators/birthchart.htm

Stem Cells

A new medical practice seems to be taking hold. Embryonic stem cells, harvested from the umbilical cord, are being used to fight cancer and a host of other medical issues. The problem is that the cord blood banks are private and are very expensive. It turns out that we'd be paying hundreds to thousands just to initially deposit our stem cells, and then monthly fees to keep them in cryo. till/if we needed them. Last week, however, we found out that we can deposit them for free at a community bank through the hospital. The catch? They're not our cells once we deposit them, and they can be used by us, or used up by anyone else who needs them before we need them. Not really much of a catch is it? The thought of some poor dying child getting a new shot at life from my baby's cord blood cells hardly seems like a down side to me, especially since the chances of us ever needing them are so remote. I thought this was worth posting in case anyone else out there is having a baby. Talk to your hospital about donating cord blood cells. It seems like a truly worthwhile cause.

Babies don't have a pause button.

I've spent all this time worrying about whether or not I CAN get pregnant. Now that it's happened, I need to figure out what to do once the baby comes. I know it's another 8 months down the line, but I don't want to be worrying about these things while I'm worrying about everything else. I plan to take a month off, as will my loving and doting husband Gene. The problem is that I work as a part time therapist and I'm going to need to put the baby somewhere for the few hours a week that I work. On top of that I'll need to figure out what to do while I'm at martial arts training, although I might just take the baby with me. I may have an offer to teach parenting skills a couple times a month, so I'd need to figure out childcare for that too. The real problem is that I need to find something affordable, like a trade-off-kids kind of situation, but I'm not willing to leave my baby with a stranger. Years of working with abused children has made me Leery. Gene is an option, but as anyone who has ever worked full time will tell you, coming home after a long day and then babysitting for a couple of hours is a lot to ask on a weekly basis. I suppose that I'll figure something out, but it would be nice if more of my friends and family lived near me.

Caution! Handle with Care!!

Gene and I went to the doctor last week for our first prenatal visit. We won’t be ready for the ultrasound till May 1st or so, but that didn't stop them from drawing more blood than Dracula, running a plethora of tests, and giving me a ream of paperwork to fill out. We found out a couple of interesting things. One of which is that the baby does get to stay with me after the delivery instead of being wheeled away to some distant nursery. I'm very glad about this, as I'd always thought that separating the mother from her newborn seemed tremendously unnatural. The second thing that I found out is that until 10-12 weeks my baby is incredibly fragile. It's developing all its tiny little organs and structures and networking itself together, and ANY contamination to my body can damage this incredibly important and incredibly fragile and incredibly fast process. My baby is nearly doubling in size weekly! This obviously isn't an actual picture of my baby, bit it's a baby at 6 weeks, which is right where I am. I'm 6 weeks 2 days today. The upshot of all this is that I can't have tea, chocolate, coffee, alcohol, or anything else that isn't 100% good and nutritious. I keep finding myself wondering, "Did I get enough veggies today?", "Did that cup of tea 4 weeks ago cause a problem?", "Am I eating enough...Did waiting so long to eat breakfast cause irrevocable damage?!" As you can see, a mommy-to-be can drive herself insane this way pretty quickly. On the whole I'm trying to be relaxed about the whole thing, but it's hard not to worry a little.

Registry Nightmares

I'm putting part of my baby registry here, not because I want everyone to go out and buy something, but because I've always found them useful when my friends had kids. I hate wondering what would be useful. I would ordinarily put everything on amazon.com, but I can't find everything there, so I've got an Amazon registry and a Babies R' Us registry. I put some almost everything on Amazon's baby registry, and the changing pad covers on Babies R' Us, and then I just decided to put the whole list here since I really don't think things have to come from a particular store. We already have a bunch of the biggie items, and some blankets and playmat, mobile, bouncy seat, etc., but these are a few of the endless list of things that seem to be needed for a baby. How can someone so tiny need so much stuff?!

door alarms - we really need these - (registered for on amazon.com)
contoured Changing pad covers (blue)(1-2)
humidifier/vaporizer
Baby care kit:(brush/comb, nail clippers, thermometer, nasal bulb, 1st Aid Supplies)
baby books
Avent Pacifiers (2 or 3)
Teethers (2 - 4)
6 - 8 Avent brand nipples for avent bottles
baby spoons (3 to 4) -plain metal ones w/ plastic coating on the bowl of the spoon
baby wash/shampoo/lotion
breast pads, (probably washable) and shields and cream

Things that matter

I'm 29 years old and I always thought that I knew what mattered, but suddenly some things seem to be shifting. For instance, my own personal safety has always been pretty high on the list, as well as the state of my appearance and my freedoms. I'm a size 2 with a 25 inch waist and all of a sudden I'm looking at my tummy and thinking about the stretch marks and fat and widening hips and bigger feet and hormonal complexion and my rapidly growing in roots (Yes, I'm naturally blonde. No, not this blonde.). The strange thing is that suddenly I'm not caring anymore. It's not just that it's well worth the sacrifice, it's just that it doesn't really seem important at all. Don't get me wrong. I'm still a girl and the upkeep of myself still seems important, but the idea of not having a bikini worthy body suddenly seems kind of sad, but in a trivial "oops I broke a plate" kind of way, instead of in the self esteem shattering, "I'm a big fat ugly cow!" kinda way. Also, the idea of deliberately going through a situation that can kill me, or at the very least do permanent damage to my body and be incredibly painful and grueling (Yes, I mean labor.) seems less terrifying than it seems like it should. So, as a tribute to my younger, partying, thinner and more egocentric days, here are some party pictures from the 80's party, the toga party and the rocky party.

Dilemma of a pregnant Ninja

I told my martial arts group and my brother. Everyone was very happy, excited and supportive, but also suddenly very protective. Even with 5 years of balance beam training I had to stop standing on a 5 inch curb so I wouldn't worry my sensei. The real problem is that slipping off a curb is nothing compared to the falls I would routinely take in training, not to mention the impact from being hit. I've already modified my training, but not to the 5 inch curb level of safety, which is perhaps now necessary, or perhaps overkill. I wonder how differently people will relate to me now that I'm carrying someone else's entire future inside me. I'm planning to contact the only other pregnant martial artist I know of to see if she has any tips for training safely. I never realized how inherently dangerous the world is until I had to protect someone from it.

I HAVE to tell someone soon!

Attention world! Announcing the presence of a tiny miracle growing in my tummy!
At least, that's what I imagine the press release looking like. There really should be some sort of a press release. This is a monumental event! I really want to tell my family, but I don't want to tell them long distance, and I wanted to wait till we know everything is ok with the baby. On the other hand, I don't think I can wait much longer. Maybe I should go visit...

So, apparently I'm supposed to hibernate.

I spent the last two weeks telling Gene that I had the flu. Gene kept telling me that he was "pretty sure he couldn't catch what I had." The nausea isn't so bad, but I'm sleepy and hungry and hot. All symptoms seem to come at random times and with random lengths and intervals. Why I assumed that "morning sickness" had something to do with the mornings, I can't imagine, but I was clearly mistaken. The upshot of all this is that I seem to want to eat a lot, and then get very warm, curl up and sleep for months at a time. So, I can only assume that when men say that pregnancy can turn your wife into a real bear, they mean it literally. I wonder when all the fur grows in...

Surprise!

I showed up at Gene's office and had the receptionist call him down for a "delivery." I was waiting in the lobby with a tiny onesie and a bib that said, "I love my daddy." I've seen Gene happy, but the man was beaming! He put the outfit up in his office and took me out to lunch. Nothing seems quite real yet, and somehow I feel like my feet haven't touched the ground in hours.

TWO Pink Lines!

Holy cow! It's positive! I'm pregnant! Wait, one line is really faint...Oh no! Maybe I'm not pregnant! Panic panic panic...and that's pretty much how my morning started. After a trip to the doctor's office and what seemed like the longest wait in history, the nurse came out and showed me my results, and flinched. Apparently they're not used to people being delighted when the result comes out positive. All my bouncing around and laughing seemed to be quite a relief to her, so I floated out the door in search of a good way to tell Gene.

Planning to be a mom...

I'm a planner, so I planned having a baby, like every other part of my life. I'd like to say that I'm just really responsible, but to be truthful, it just helps me not to panic. Gene is a planner too, so between the two of us, we planned the heck out of this thing. I left my job, we spent months with me doing all the house repairs. I scraped ceilings and rewired outlets and etc. We went to pregnancy planning classes and collected baby stuff, and at the end of everything, I'm sitting there all prepared, in a remodeled house, with no full time job and a pile of baby stuff... and no baby. Hmmm. I think we may have skipped an important step...